Digital Camera, Digital TV,...Digital Stimulation?

Digital Camera, Digital TV,…Digital Stimulation?



Give the 7 dwarfs a big screen HD TV and some hot wings and they would have been way too busy watching A&E to be bothered with Snow White and her crazy step-mother. So the crazy witch tried to poison you. Next time call a cop you powder puff.

If something digital can corrupt the 7 dwarfs, it can do the same to medicine. Before the digital camera or the digital TV, medicine made use of our own basic digital equipment, our fingers. They call it digital stimulation.

We need to know what digital stimulation is because it's funny. It's deceptive and that's what makes it funny. We must also learn about things like “self evacuation” and being “dexterity challenged.” If you think you know where I'm going with this you're close. If you know where I'm going with this,..... Well crap!

By the time I left TIRR back in 2010 pretty much everything was funny. The funniest thing was the vocabulary. A perfect example of this is the term “bowel program.” I don't think I've ever told anyone I need to have a BM. I have seen a man about a horse, taken my dog for a walk, returned a book to the library, and I have even left something in the night deposit box.

It's the same thing with the word program. I've used a computer program, done an exercise program, tried a diet program, watched a program on TV, but I've never used a bowel program. So what does a bowel program and digital stimulation have to do with each other?

Since this is a very delicate subject and I don't want to upset anyone's delicate disposition, I will try to be as discreet as a squirrel wearing suspenders. When it comes to making a gift of our own personal fertilizer, most of us use the traditional method of "self evacuation". Seriously, that's actually what they call it.

However, some of us are not only dexterity challenged, but we also can not self evacuate on our own. So we need a little help from our friends, a very special friend with a very special digit. Oh, and when I say digit, I do mean finger. I just want to make sure you understand that.

Now you have to take your digit and stick it in the rabbit hole. Twirl your straw until you feel the leprechaun’s pot of gold. Wait, I forgot something. Before you twirl your straw, you have to plant a magic jumping bean up the elevator shaft and wait 20 minutes. After 20 minutes you massage the walls of Bonzo’s fun time playhouse by twirling your straw (digit) in it. Once the gold starts flowing you know your digital stimulation was successful. Get it? Got it? Good.