Part 1: Free Credits Report

     Soon all of you will have a far less appreciation for movie credits. I know everyone thinks that watching the credits at the end of a movie is a complete waste of time. You’re right, it is. However, in a few moments my time wasting Master Ninja skills will teach you how to waste that time with more indifference and greater dispassion then you never cared about.

     Once the credits start rolling at the end of a movie you are usually either walking out of the theater or hitting the “Stop” button on the DVD player. However, I can do neither. Because of this inability I have watched far too many movie credits. So many in fact, that I have invented a game that is a monumental waste of time.

One of the dullest and least interesting (yet soon to be a college drinking party game played by all) is guessing how many times your name will appear in the credits at the end of the movie. Sounds thrilling huh?

     Be warned, it’s not as easy as it sounds. I have a very common name and I’ve found my name as many as 23 times, and as few as 2. Even if you have a less than common name like Kip or Monique, you might be surprised how many times your name pops up.

Now I know this is a huge waste of time, but just wait. Next time you’re watching a movie this completely stupid and idiotic waste of time will creep into the back of your mind. Curiosity will get the better of you and you'll start counting. What a waste of time.