QuadraLand Part 1

                                    QuadraLand Part 1
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls and children of all ages welcome to the wonderful world of QuadraLand Amusement Park. Today we're going to visit What’s-Missing-Land. Actually, what we’re going to do is take a look at the things that I miss and the things I don't miss.

I know that this is just going to enthrall and captivate you for hours. I’m relatively sure that while you sit in your cubical/office/work space/dungeon at work this might be the most fun you’ll have all day. Well that and going for that high score on Angry Birds, and checking your FaceBook for updates, and Tweeting, and playing solitaire. So I make the top 5.



The one thing they teach you when writing is to grab the reader right from the start. So here it is. Let’s start off in the public restrooms. Gotcha already didn’t I? Now the one thing I miss of course is not being able to actually use a public restroom. Having your own personal travel size Ziploc bag to carry your ingredients to make yellow snow, helps to eliminate that need. While it would be nice to be able to use the public restroom if needed, standing in line and crossing your legs while waiting for some timid tinkler to use the urinal at a bar, club or stadium will not be missed.



So figure the male brain really only works in three categories, food, sports, and sex. I can still eat and I can watch sports. That leaves one category unfulfilled. Of course to be fair I was already missing it before the accident. On the bright side, it's time for the adults section.



Let's talk sex. First we need to disuse the differences between men and women. No not those differences. The differences in the way they react to seeing a quadriplegic. Women react with a more maternal instinct. No duh, huh? Men on the other hand have a more basic or cave man like reaction. Their first thought is how much it would suck to lose the use of their arms and legs. Then comes the real scary bomb shell. Oh my god…does that mean my tally-whacker doesn’t work?? Scary thought, huh guys? That question and many others will be answered on our next episode.